Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
