There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
