So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
