My room smells like vodka and shame
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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