Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize