now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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