i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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