my phone needs a breathalizer
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
