They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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