update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
