You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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