John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
