is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
