Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize