Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
