At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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