So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
