At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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