Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
