So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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