this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
