nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
