i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Be still, my beating vagina.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
