theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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