Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
