I seem to have left my pride at pride
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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