Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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