There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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