White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
