Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
