the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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