that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
