the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
