Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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