kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
