The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
