Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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