gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
