I just cut my nipple shaving
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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