Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
bring money and cleavage
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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