i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
