I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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