I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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