I wish life had little blips of pornography
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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