We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
