dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
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