Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
