I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize