okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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