waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
