Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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