It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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