maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
