I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I am spending my child support on dildos
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
