My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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