what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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