oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
