Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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