He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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