so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
