Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Randomize
