so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
