when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
