I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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