i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
