I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
