fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
