I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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