One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
