i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
